{advice and articles | how loneliness can become your very bestfriend}

Lets all be honest and lets face it, at one point or another, especially even when we try as much as we can to fight it, we get lonely. It's not that we are completely alone, it's just that in that one moment, we are alone and we are swept into an unrelenting cycle of thought whereby we question ourselves and our lives. We feel as though we have no-one or that no-one will understand us. For me, and for many of us I will assume, this most often happens at night. It's dark, it's quiet and you have nothing to do: it's simply you and your thoughts.

You firstly need to come to terms with the fact that everyone gets lonely and unfortunately for you, it may come and go but nevertheless you must learn to accept that there will be times where this is how you will be left to feel. That being said, you need to learn to enjoy being within your own company. I understand what it's like to have your thoughts linger. You think about your life, you get upset about something, you see or hear something you wish you hadn't or you reminisce on the past or someone from the past and consequently you find yourself overwhelmingly miserable. You begin to question what you're doing with your life and where you're going. Perhaps you haven't heard from your friends or someone in particular and you begin to question if anyone cares about you. Well the list goes on doesn't it?

You're simply in a state of despair and perhaps self-hatred and this is because you allow yourself to enter into such a place. When we find ourselves alone, it can be terribly frightening and confronting because we are locking ourselves up with our thoughts and they can ultimately get the better of us. In being able to enjoy being in your own company, you must start doing things you love, trying something different, keeping yourself occupied, trying something new and something fun or just getting out of the house. I'm not suggesting you run away from your thoughts, I'm simply suggesting that you don't let them manipulate, overpower and consume you.

My second piece of advice to cure loneliness is to surround yourself with people who are positive and who will actually be there, even if it's just to listen or reply to a text message or call when they know you're feeling down. I've been there. I've been lonely purely based on the fact that the people I allowed myself to be around those who made me feel lonely. You need to find individuals who sincerely love you, care about you, support you and will simply be present and concerned during your moments of struggle. I've gone through those lonely, depressing nights where I hate my life or I'm upset and reminiscing about my past. But what got me through were my friends. Sometimes when you're upset you can't expect your companions to simply know that you are.

Don't be afraid to say that you're going through a rough time, that you need someone to listen or anything of the sort. In expressing to my friends what my situation was, I felt so much better and so less alone in having them lend their time so willingly to send me words of love, advice and encouragement. If you feel that you can't talk to your friends or they simply won't be there when things are seemingly falling apart for you then you need to reconsider whether they should still be a part of your life. When you have people who make you feel so very alone, that's when you realise you're better without them. Find yourself in the company of people who will simply lend an ear to your problems and who will go above and beyond to make sure you're feeling okay and make you look forward to tomorrow.

Lastly, enjoy your life and be in love with it so that each day can start and finish on a perfectly good note. I am a firm believer in that we underestimate how beautiful our lives can truly be and what we fail to realise is that we are in complete control of how our destiny will unfold. Sometimes, it's purely a matter of keeping yourself busy as a bee during the day or simply indulging in fun times and then ensuring that you're tired enough to fall sound asleep at night in order to prevent having to face a battle between yourself and your thoughts. Our thoughts are overwhelmingly powerful. Again, I'm not suggesting to run away from your thoughts but it's simply a matter of learning to love your life, look forward to tomorrow and what's to come and to be excited about it all.

You're the master of your own destiny. Sure you'll have bad days which may outnumber the good but feed into yourself positive energy and words that promise you better, brighter days full of potential and fulfillment. Sometimes we allow our thoughts to scare us into thinking we're alone, we're not good enough, we're worthless or unsuccessful, our lives are terrible or we've messed up but in being in control over our lives we have to learn to first master our thoughts. If we don't appreciate and allow for other people to speak to us negatively, why should we allow ourselves to? It's damaging. Learn to love your life and yourself.

Loneliness is a universal thing, everyone will come to face it but nevertheless don't let it get the better of you. Loneliness is something to be mastered and conquered. Don't give into the momentary state of sadness and self-despair. Take it as an opportunity to enjoy being in your company, to enjoy the beautiful company within your life and to enjoy your life and being you. A love of self, others and your life is sometimes all you need.