{advice and articles | why it's okay to be single in your early 20's}

You're in your early 20's, which countless people promise you is the prime time of your life... and you're still single. As we've grown up we've become accustomed to the idea that we need to find "the one" and in reality life seemingly becomes all the more unfulfilling and questioning when we don't. There's this inescapable part of us which encompasses a loving, caring, compassionate and nurturing nature. It's engrained in us to love. We pride ourselves in loving others but deep-down we only wish to be loved in return. 

As we go along our life journey and take pivotal steps towards our future, we may find ourselves craving the attention, company and mutual affection of a significant other. But what do you do when you find that you're not achieving any of those desires or you've had tried and failed experiences?

In my view, you need to understand that finding someone in life isn't the be all and end all. Whose to say you need someone to purely achieve happiness, fulfilment and satisfaction with your life? Why can't you be responsible for your own happiness rather than wanting and waiting for someone to bring that into your life? 

It seems funny doesn't it? That our lives can be so centered on finding someone. As cliche as this sounds, you need to be strong and independent. Before this, I would have snickered at the sentiment but it's actually a line that I speak and repeat to myself in times where I need to the most (i.e. moments before picking up the phone to message some guy that myself and all my girlfriends all know that I shouldn't be) You.Are.Strong.And.Independent.Remember that. Chase your dreams and your future not people.

For many of us, we have all had our fair share of bad or perhaps fleeting relationships or encounters with someone special or perhaps you've had one, specific relationship or encounter that stays with you even till today. I do believe in never having regrets when it comes to any relationship in life. If it didn't work out for you then you walk away with a stronger idea of who you are or who you want to be.

And even more, you also gain a clearer idea of what kind of relationship you want next and what you deserve. So never hold against yourself past relationships or encounters because somehow they all brought some kind of value to your life and being. 

Don't be disheartened if you have not yet found someone to share in life just yet. I stumbled across this quote the other night, "If you're searching for that one person who will change your life, look in the mirror." In life, we can often be found guilty of believing that we need to find our soul-mate; our future life partner to complete us. We believe that someone else will come into our lives and completely change it.

Sometimes that's not what life is all about. It's about realising that you can be perfectly fine on your own. Whether you're single or in a relationship you'll experience the good and bad that life has to offer. The mentality that single life is far from ideal is simply a paranoid thought of ours; one that society and the media often inflicts upon us. You are the master of your own destiny, no-one else. Anything that you want to make happen for yourself you can.

A beauty of life is finding happiness in yourself and your life before you can take that step in sharing it with someone else. Therefore, single-life is still a good-life because you need to find absolute pleasure in being in your own and doing your own thing so that no-matter who walks in and out of your life, at the end of the day you still have yourself and achievements in your life to hold onto and be proud of.

You're still young and whose to say that finding a significant other is the most important thing in your life? The more emphasis you place on the need to find someone or the more you heighten your desire of purposefully seeking someone the more you'll find that you'll settle for the first, seemingly best thing that comes your way. There's no romance or true happiness in that. 

I'm more than happy for you when and if you find that one person you've been wishing to find but for now being so young and having such a promising future ahead of us all, lets not become too infatuated with the idea of finding and purposefully seeking someone out. 

You're still in your early 20's. Let that sink in for a moment. You need to discover. Discover yourself, the world around you, the world beyond that which you know and discover what your future will look like. Use this point in your life to travel, explore, set and reach goals, meet new people and make new friends, go on road-trips, pursue career opportunities and do something spontaneous, out of your comfort zone or something you've always wanted to. 

This point of your life is all about living and having fun. Don't rush or feel the need to settle down and find someone just yet. Think of it more as "I'm going to live and enjoy my life and if the right person comes along then that's just great."

Believe in fate and the beauty that is inherent in the unexpected moments of life. For now, focus on yourself and all that you want in life (minus the dream partner) and if they happen to come along, they will come along. If you haven't found them yet and fear that you won't any time soon or perhaps never will, just embrace and enjoy life for what it is. 

Our destiny in life isn't to find someone else, it's to find ourselves. And if you happen to find someone who can make you feel complete and happy then I wish you all the best. If you haven't yet then think of all the beautiful, promising times that lie ahead of you.